Admission of Feelings
by amariys
Summary: Five times Kurogane said he didn't miss Fai and one time he said he did.


**Title: **Admission of Feelings

**Writer: **Amariys

**Words count: **3419 words

**Fandom/Characters: **Shiritsu Horitsuba Gakuen/Kurogane, Fai D. Fluorite

**Pairing(s): **Kurogane/Fai

**Disclaimer: **Shiritsu Horitsuba Gakuen is not mine. No trademark infringement or profit meant from the writing of this story.

**Rating: **PG-13

**Summary: **Five times Kurogane said he didn't miss Fai and one time he said he did.

**Warnings: **Possible OOCness due to first fic in fandom; self-edited so there may be typos and grammatical error.

**A/N: **This is my contribution for KuroFai Gift Exchange this year. This story is dedicated for Tessu and I took their second prompt: _Horitsuba kurofai , being all fluffy and domestic, sharing private and simple moments with each other. _I'm sorry if the domestic part isn't really shown, but I hope I get the fluff part just right. This fic is also cross-posted on my tumblr and AO3 account.

Hope you enjoy reading this story!

* * *

Summer.

It was Kurogane's favorite season. Summer meant holiday and although he might miss the opportunity to train his students (despite his constant grumbles, Kurogane actually was quite fond of some of them), but at least summer also meant days away from the crazy bunch he called coworkers. Well, to be perfectly honest, he couldn't really escape from Yuuko-sensei, since she would always visit him at the most unfavorable times, but this summer he would be perfectly free of an annoying pest who was also the chemistry teacher in Horitsuba.

Yes, this summer the Fluorite twins, Yuui and Fai, were having holidays in Italy. Apparently their parents had asked them to come home once the school was out and the twins couldn't refuse the request.

Fai-sensei had come crying when he announced the plan to Kurogane, who in contrast had accepted it with an entirely too pleased smirk on his face. Of course, it only made Fai pouted and sulked while making himself comfortable on Kurogane's desk. He managed to get Kurogane's full attention by that, because he apparently could care less about the important documents crinkled beneath his bum.

"Kuro-liar is so cold! Won't you miss me on the summer holiday? I won't be able to keep you warm while I'm miles away from you!"

"Good thing it's summer then." Kurogane's tone was flat. He didn't even look away from his computer screen. Although, it proved to be difficult when Fai decided to stretch up and play with the short end of Kurogane's hair, essentially caressing his neck. Kurogane hated he was sensitive there; he hated it more because Fai absolutely _knew _that. "Stop it!" He growled, batting at Fai's hand like one would do to a fly.

With an even more pronounced pout, Fai relented. Although his long fingers still made sure to leave Kurogane's warm skin ever so slowly. "Honestly though, Kuro-pon, you should at least be sad to be separated with your lover in the summer holiday. Imagine how many sex we will miss!"

"First of all, we are not lovers." Kurogane could feel a headache forming. He was honest though. Whatever relationship he and Fai had, he would never call them _lovers_. So what if they had sex frequently and that Fai almost always sneaked into his apartment just so they could sleep together—sometimes in the most innocent meaning of the word? They were _not _lovers. "Second, I don't know about you, but I surely can live without sex for few weeks. You're making a fuss over nothing."

"I'm making a fuss because I will miss you. It's sad knowing it's just a one-sided feeling."

It was a trick. Kurogane knew it was a trick; the slight trembling in Fai's voice, the soft sigh he uttered afterwards, the sheer _sincerity _in those words—they were all just necessary components for a believable trick. He knew all that and yet guilt still ate at him. It prompted him to finally look at the other, eyes catching the way Fai's lithe figure was almost sprawled on his desk, the way soft pale blond locks seemed to dazzle with gold ray from the sun. The blue of Fai's eyes met his ruby irises with impish glint inside, always knowing whenever Kurogane was observing him, and despite all of his misgivings, Kurogane couldn't deny Fai was very breath taking sometimes.

The corner of Fai's eyes crinkled as he grinned. "Do you miss me now, Kuro-lover?"

"Heh. Not a chance." Yet Kurogane was reaching out, fingers gently caressing Fai's hair before resting comfortably on his slender neck. He pulled Fai closer until their lips could brush in a chaste kiss that left them both felt like teenagers again.

"Do you miss me now?" Fai repeated in hushed whisper.

Fai's breath was damp and moist against his lips. It tickled and instead of answering Kurogane just kissed that smiling mouth again. This time, it was not as chaste. This time, Kurogane allowed himself a taste of Fai's sweet lips—courtesy of the silly strawberry lip gloss Yuuko-_sensei _gave to him which apparently he loved to use—and indulged himself in the warmth of Fai's mouth before retreating.

"Not a chance." Kurogane answered, slowly and intimately.

Not that it really mattered what Kurogane said, because then Fai reached up with both hands, clinging to Kurogane despite them being in public place—in school, to be exact, where this kind of behavior from teachers were strictly prohibited—before kissing him whole heartedly.

For once, Kurogane accepted the kiss willingly. He had always preferred it when Fai didn't talk anyway.

* * *

On the day of the Fluorite twins' departure, Kurogane was forced, literally, to join the farewell party to the airport. He had screamed and kicked the whole way, but Yuuko-sensei just ignored him by turning up the radio's volume and all the others were used to his complaints they no longer took it seriously. In the end, Kurogane had relented with the barest of grumbles. The journey towards the airport itself wasn't that painful and besides, Fai looked exceptionally happy he was there. Kurogane wasn't so cruel as to destroy that happiness with his half-hearted complaints.

Thankfully, he was saved from any humiliation once they actually were at the airport and it was time for the twins to depart. There was no teary goodbyes, no overenthusiastic hugs, no dramatic kisses; nothing. What happened was just this: Kurogane and Fai standing face-to-face. The blond was smiling, as per usual, although this time it was tinged with melancholy. Kurogane kept his face impassive. This was not a goodbye after all; Fai would return soon and so there was no need for premature longing. This wasn't a goodbye.

As if he could read Kurogane's mind, Fai quirked his lips into a grin. "Well, this is it for now." He hummed cheerfully, stepping closer to Kurogane and enjoying the way Kurogane reflexively tensed as if anticipating a bone crushing hug from him. Just for that, Fai decided to pass on the hug and reached out a hand instead. "I'll see you later, Kuro-sama!"

Kurogane stared at the outstretched hand as if it was an alien, but then he grunted and shook the offered hand. "Yeah."

"I will call, so don't turn your phone off."

"I won't." Fai was not the only person to call him after all. Kurogane wouldn't want to miss important call just because the blond insisted on calling him. He was not that childish.

"Don't bring anyone else to your bed. I will know if you cheat on me, Kuro-handsome!"

"I won't do something like that, idiot! Just go! You have a plane to catch and your brother is waiting already!"

Fai tipped his head back and laughed. Kurogane was relieved to hear no sadness in the familiar tone. He squeezed their hands minutely before releasing Fai's. They couldn't stall this any longer and they both knew it.

"Goodbye for now then, Kuro-sensei."

"… Yes. Goodbye." Kurogane nodded firmly. He shoved his hands deep into his pants pocket when Fai grinned and _finally _walked towards Yuui who had been waiting most patiently. He didn't want to do anything stupid like waving back towards the blond or, even worse, pulling him into a tight hug. It was only for two weeks. Kurogane surely could survive with that.

As he walked back together with the whole party, Kurogane's phone vibrated in his pocket. He fished it out and not at all surprised seeing Fai's name on the screen. It was a message. He didn't bother wondering why Fai had sent him message even when they hadn't been separated for more than fifteen minutes and just opened it. The corners of his lips immediately curved into wry smile as he read the message.

_Do you miss me now?_

* * *

The second message from Fai came late at night. He had changed his number to that of Italian's and so Kurogane didn't notice it at first. Besides, he was already too sleepy to properly reply so he just read it and let the screen stayed on the message until the screen light went off on its own.

_Arrived safely! I think I get jet-lagged. Is Kuro-lover asleep already? Goodnight!_

_P.S: I miss you already, Kuro-sama._

_P.P.S: Do you miss me now?_

* * *

After that, the message and phone calls became routine. Although time difference sometimes became problem, and Kurogane was far too lazy to reply Fai's long messages appropriately, but they never missed a day without contact. It didn't feel like Fai was away at all eventhough at the end of every message he always put the same question: _Do you miss me now? _and each time Kurogane would answer in negative.

On the third day of Fai in Italy, Kurogane received a call from the blond around 10 AM. It made him frown because it should be 3 AM there in Italy and the idiot should have been sleeping already.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping now?" Kurogane said as a greeting. His voice rougher than it probably should be. He couldn't help it though, he always became harsher whenever he worried about something.

There was a pause before Fai's chuckle could be heard. "Can't sleep," he answered in hushed voice. "Though maybe that will change if Kuro-papa sang me a lullaby."

"I'm hanging up now."

"Hahaha, you're so cold, Kuro-cruel. I'm not lying though. It's colder here than in Japan and I don't even have you to snuggle up with. I'm lonely." The words were sincere enough despite the whiny tone it was delivered in. That was just like Fai; despite all the nonsense and lies he might say, there would always be a sliver of truth inside.

"You have Yuui there." Kurogane said because he knew Fai well. Even now, he imagined the blond was lying beside his brother, hence the hushed voice. "Just imagine he was me if you had to."

"I can't. It's too different, Kuro-rin. Yuui is not all muscular like you. He even smells different. This is not working."

The whining tone was getting louder. Kurogane massaged the bridge of his nose to stall off incoming headache. Even miles away, Fai still managed to grate on his nerves. He knew he couldn't hold this one against the blond though, since insomnia wasn't something either of them enjoyed. In the end, Kurogane decided to make himself comfortable. This could be a long one.

"Look here, I won't sing you a lullaby, so give up on that thought," he started and skillfully ignored the whine coming from Fai in response. "but I can keep you company until you fall asleep. Just … talk. I know you love to talk so that won't be hard for you. Talk about whatever you want, I don't mind. I'm sure it will tire you out sooner or later."

"Mm, so Kuro-rinta doesn't have any illicit meeting with anyone today?"

"I never have that kind of meeting," Kurogane growled despite knowing Fai was only baiting him. "The only suspicious person who ever came close to me is you. You should know that."

"I know. I rather like that too." Fai's voice was starting to sound sleepy. There was a lulling pause in which Kurogane half thought he was already asleep, before he spoke up again, "_Nee_, do you miss me now, Kuro-sama?"

"… Maybe a little."

* * *

Kurogane was certain he would not miss Fai at all. After all, Fai always annoyed him with his tendency to sneak into Kurogane's apartment and bed, and they still managed to keep daily contact so there really was no reason for him to miss the Chemistry teacher at all. Or, at least, that was what he said to himself. Sadly, on the tenth day of Fai being away, Kurogane had—dare he said it—missed the blond. Just a bit. Just the tiniest bit.

No, he didn't particularly miss the way Fai chattered on and on about everything and nothing at all, but his apartment lately had felt so quiet that it even bothered him. He didn't really miss the interruption on his sleep whenever Fai snuck into his blanket, surprising him with his cold feet, and the weather had been far too hot for a snuggle lately, but he couldn't help to feel something wasn't quite right when he woke up to emptiness in his arms.

Of course, when he found out that yes, he rather missed the exuberant blond, Kurogane was … appalled. He growled not wanting to admit that even to himself and decided to do something stupid in order to distract himself: Accepting Yuuko-sensei's invitation to drink together.

Yuuko-sensei had been beside herself with joy when Kurogane finally accepted her invitation (which she had given out since the first day Fai was away). Her joy came from the fact she would be able to tease Kurogane all about his loneliness of course, but part of her truly enjoyed his company because both of them could tolerate alcohol _very well_ and that meant lots and lots of liquor until finally they both could drink no more.

At first Kurogane had been his usual grumpy self. He made sure Yuuko understood he came only for the promised free drinks, which of course didn't fool Yuuko even for a second, but as the night went later and the amount of empty bottles on the table increased, he begun to unwind. He knew Yuuko's taste in liquor was good so overall it was an enjoyable outing, once he managed to ignore her teasing.

It was already quite late when he finally decided to come home. Yuuko had persuaded him to stay over since they both were pleasantly buzzed with alcohol by now, but at least Kurogane had enough common sense to refuse the offer. He could walk back to his apartment just fine and who knew what kind of devil tricks Yuuko would put on him if he did stay over.

He was half way towards his apartment when he finally remembered to check his phone. There were more than ten missed calls and twenty five messages, all from Fai. Huffing softly, Kurogane didn't bother to read through all the messages, knowing it would only contain the blond's whining for being ignored. He decided to create new message instead, typing a simple "_I'm alive,_" shortly before pressing send.

He didn't even need to wait before his phone rang. Kurogane had half of mind wondering about current technology before answering the call without bothering to look at the caller ID. "Yo."

"Kuro-liar should've told me beforehand he was having an illicit meeting." Even through the static noise of phone call, Kurogane still could imagine Fai's pouting face vividly. "Are you drunk?"

"Idiot, I'm never drunk and it wasn't an illicit meeting. Just went for a drink with the witch."

"Yuuko-sensei? You were having drinks with Yuuko-sensei?" Now the blond sounded curious and a tad bit concerned. "What happened?"

Kurogane's brows furrowed at the demanding question. "What do you mean? Nothing happened." Why should anything happen anyway? He was just having casual drink with co-worker. Surely there was nothing strange in that.

"Kuro-sama, you never go to Yuuko-sensei willingly unless something happened. You even call her a _witch_. So tell me: What happened?"

"Nothing!" Kurogane growled, oddly defensive. Damn Fai for knowing him all too well. He grunted and decided to change the topic, least the blond would keep bugging him. "What are you doing now?"

There was a pause from Fai, followed by the sound of something rustling as if he was making himself comfortable. "Nothing much. Just this and that. Where are you now, Kuro-wan?"

"On my way back to the apartment." Kurogane narrowed his eyes. "What are you hiding?"

"Who, me? I have nothing to hide, Kuro-suspicious. More importantly, you're alone, right. Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"You're _not _seriously asking me that." Because Kurogane wasn't a woman and no one in their right mind would pick up a fight with him. He grunted again when Fai only chuckled in response and looked up to find he was near his apartment building already. "I almost arrive. Anything important to tell me? 'Cause I'm going straight to bed after this."

"Kuro-ponpon! How could you think our daily calls are not important?!" Fai wailed dramatically. "Can't I just call my lover when I miss him without he, oh the cruel one, being annoyed at me?"

"You can. You already do it anyway," Kurogane pointed out and he wisely didn't say that Fai seemed to miss him every single day whenever they were not together. He shifted the phone a bit as he entered his apartment's elevator, hoping the phone call won't be ended because of poor receiver. "So, anything else to say?"

"You're being unnecessarily cruel." Soft sigh could be heard from the other line, as if Fai had given up on correcting his lover. "Where are you now? I can't hear you clearly."

"In the elevator. I'm going to hang up soon."

"Oh, alright then, Kuro-meanie. I miss you." There was another sound of rustling, followed by the faint noise of something being dragged across the floor. Fai obviously was outdoor at the moment.

"Hn."

"Do you miss me now?"

The usual question.

Kurogane opened his mouth and then paused. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking, but this time he felt the need to answer truthfully—or as honest as he could—and that made him pause. He considered the question once again. Such a simple yet complex question, as per usual whenever it came from Fai's mouth. He didn't really miss Fai that much since the logical part of him knew soon he would be able to meet the man again and in a way, this period of separation was a nice break for him. So really, he wasn't lying whenever he answered that question in negative.

However, at the moment he did feel himself longing for Fai's presence beside him; wanting to feel the lithe body fitting in his arms, to caress the wispy strands of blond that always looked more golden by morning light. He wanted to kiss Fai's lips to shut him up before tracing his own lips down Fai's neck and delighted in the moans and gasps Fai would produce. Kurogane yearned to be one with Fai, to feel the blond's body accepting him willingly, to feel the connection so intimate he didn't know how else to describe it except for coming home.

The slight ding of the elevator jolted Kurogane out of his silent reverie. He looked up only to find he had arrived on his floor. He waited for the door to be opened and, remembering Fai was still waiting for his answer, decided to softly say, "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Finally! I know you can say it, Kuro-sama!"

Kurogane snapped his head up because that voice hadn't come from the phone. That voice sounded far too close than it should be and that was impossible. But then the elevator's door was opened fully and Kurogane could see Fai smiling there, as if he had been waiting. The blond was still holding his phone in one hand, while the other rested on his travelling bag and when he noticed Kurogane's eyes on him, the smile on his face morphed into a full grin.

"I'm home!"

Fai said as a greeting, cheerful and oh so innocent. In response, Kurogane growled deep in his throat before walking towards the blond in fast stride and, before Fai could say anything more, entangled his fingers on the silky strands he had known so well and mashed their lips together in a rough kiss. A muffled gasp was the only thing Fai could let out before Kurogane devoured him as if he was a hungry beast. By then, Fai didn't seem to care about anything else as he looped his arms around Kurogane's neck and returned the kiss wholeheartedly.

They separated when air became a necessity. Both were breathing hard although none was in a hurry to pull away. Fai's blue eyes glittered with merriment as they looked back at Kurogane's, his fingers playing idly with the soft hair on Kurogane's neck.

"Do you miss me now?" He asked, voice husky and rough because of their kiss, lips curving into a cheeky smile.

Kurogane didn't bother holding back his smirk. He leaned furthermore, brushing his lips against Fai's once again and whispered his answer there, "Not anymore."

.

.

.

**—END.**


End file.
